Leadership is an interactive conversation that pulls people toward becoming comfortable with the language of personal responsibility and commitment. Leadership development is self-development.
Leadership is not just for people at the top.  Everyone can learn to lead by discovering the power that lies within each one of us to make a difference and being prepared when the call to lead comes.
Leadership is applicable to all facets of life: a competency that you can learn to expand your perspective, set the context of a goal, understand the dynamics of human behavior and take the initiative to get to where you want to be.
Self-coaching helps you develop your leadership skills, clarify your values and guiding principles and build your reputation.  Self-knowledge provides the personal integrity to engage in productive and authentic relationships.
Since 'coaching' is a leadership competency, here are five guiding principles that guide respectful conversations.

1. When peers connect change happens. Effective coaching can happen on the dance floor of conversation.

2. It's OK to begin a conversation by confronting the other person with questions that seem awkward but set the stage for a respectful exchange. Why waste time on small talk? Just ask to-the-point information-seeking questions, like: 'What are you here for? How do you want to spend our time together?'

3. Conversations are not meant to be structured. Be open to conversations that you are unprepared for and focused on the interests of the other person (not your purpose).

4. Don't get pulled into solving problems that may not matter to the other person. Allow time for the person to get to what's really important. Provide spaces where they can express their doubts and fears by being a thoughtful listener--without taking on the responsibility to fix or debate the issue. After all, you have invited the person to talk about what matters to her or him, not you, so allow time for the articulation of those thoughts and feelings.

5. Personal transformation happens when the right questions get asked--not by providing answers. When you focus on the solution, you are trying to sell the person something. When you allow people to answer their own questions, they discover what they were not aware of---and what is needed to move forward. Personal transformation leads corporate transformation--one person at a time.

Copyright 2004 Signature, Inc., Ann Arbor, MI 48106 USA

John G. Agno is a certified executive & business coach
and president of Signature, Inc., an Ann Arbor, MI, USA
based leadership development firm. He can be reached
at www.MENTORINGandCOACHING.COM